Saturday, November 20, 2010

Pondering What Atom Asked

Atom asked me in my last post what I get out of writing this blog.

First, Atom, I would like to thank you for the gift of a question that hasn't got anything to do with how to write. You are the first person, I believe, in this blog, ever to ask me anything that wasn't related to something I'd already said in the blog somewhere.  I don't blame the core group who appear pretty much every day.  Loretta gave me a banner, and she and a couple of others have honestly tried to do what I ask, in this role that has somehow descended on me, of becoming a teacher.  But you have maybe noted in my sidebar that appears beside every post that I didn't want to become a teacher again, and that in this blog I hoped to be part of a conversation about writing (all the people who visit my blog providing me things to answer, and vice versa). I've done the vice versa but it has become a big job for me, since there was nothing for me to say in answer to anything.  I probably should have quit trying, and just let the blog die, while I waited for a "melody for me to riff on".  I didn't do that.  There were a few people who commented, and for their sakes I tried to give all I could about being a writer, whether it was what they wanted to know or not.  I became a teacher, exactly what I didn't want to be.

You mentioned a motto someone said, an important philosophical teaching of the East that I believe in.  "Giving and Receiving must be in balance."

Here, with a few exceptions, it's "I give, they take."



I think I'll post something every day until I feel I know the answer to your question fully.  What am I getting out of this blog? 

55 Comments:

At 20 November, 2010 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welwyn,

I'm not sure that I understand what you mean by having a conversation on this blog about writing, which involves commenters asking questions, but does not cause you to feel that the role of teacher has been imposed upon you.

For the dim among us, which may only be me, you may want to explain exactly what kind of dialogue you're looking for. I do remember reading something about give and take on your sidebar, and I'm sure that you made perfectly clear what you had in mind to someone who is a member of the writing community, but alak and alas, I only write--I have not yet communed. grin.

You want more colors in your blog's palette, then paint away, girlfriend. I, for one, will do my best to help your blog rainbow up. :D At least as soon as I figure out what to do with my little bit of paint.

Deb

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Karen Elizabeth Brown said...

Welwyn,
I seems when I came to your blog I was guilty of asking many questions of you. I didn't see you as a teacher, but more mentor with a lot of experience who wanted to share what she had learned. In my limited way I wanted to stand on equal ground, but until I was speaking the same language, yes... our communication was lopsided.
When two people first meet, they go through a period of exchange of ideas while they get to know one another. I feel that I've just recently started to get to know you... not what you know, but you. You've been on an emotional roller coaster with this blog... you want to do it, but there are so many things happening to you right now, aside from the physical pain. But I see you hanging in there, hoping and trying to get people to respond. Geez... I've only had 2 people write comments on my blog. It's terribly disheartening and makes you want to quit. But, after letting it sit for 6 months, I decided that I was doing it for me. My grand daughter just showed up so I have to go be gramma.
I di care about you and would like to see you keep it up.

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Welwyn-on-books said...

Thanks for your comments, Karen and Deb. It's always the people you aren't referring to who read what you say, isn't it? I have been so happy to have had the two of you working on my blog. When you ask a question, Karen, it is not an imposition. It is your offering to me (your gift). I receive it in balance by returning you an answer. That's what I wanted for this blog. You did both see, didn't you that I said I wasn't referring to the core group? You're that. I also said, "with a few exceptions". The exceptions were you and a couple of others. Of all the people my stats said came regularly, the two of you and Loretta and one more were the real contributors to the dialog or melody of the blog. At first, you ask questions, which is your gift to me; or you answer mine, which is your gift to me. Later, you would have been writing your own stuff and would have submitted a problem you were having in your own work, and the conversation would have taken on a new depth. It probably would always be you asking and me replying, but you would always be asking with respect for what I can give. That is, more or less, the only way within the blog parameters for us to do what I want so much for it. If you two as part of the five people who can always be relied on to add to the blog stopped responding, I would have no reason to continue the blog at all. Don't be angry at me. I never was at you. I was merely thinking about Atom's question, and I always excepted you from my comments. Be angry, if you like, at the 95 or so people who take what I have to give, utterly silently, not even saying thanks. Wouldn't that bother you?

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Karen Elizabeth Brown said...

I'm not angry at all and yes, it would bother me immensely. I, too, am disappointed that people haven't responded to something that could be extremely rewarding. Just working on the Minority Report and having to think (even though I'm stumped) is rewarding. I have gotten a new perspective on my writing and can approach it with more understanding. You don't get that from just anywhere. I got it from here.

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Welwyn-on-books said...

Then you do understand. That's what it's about, Karen. I appreciate your comments very much, more than you can know.

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Welwyn!

Thank you for your response. I wasn't angry, I really was confused. I decided to hold off on being angry or hurt until you explained what you meant. :) (I can put emotional responses on hold like that. As Monk says, it's a gift and a curse. chuckle.)

I just din't know if you wanted more personal back and forth or more response to the assignments that were in the tips, etc. And, too, I didn't want you to feel burdened by an obligation that you didn't mean to make. If we made you feel like a teacher, I wanted you to be able to say that you wanted out of the workshop commitment.

So, thanks for the clarification--but if at any time you don't want to review my story, PLEASE just say so. You've got a lot on your plate.

At any rate, re: the visit count you get on your blog. You do know that those aren't necessarily 100 different people, right? I mean I've counted as 3 people just today. My first visit, a return to reread your post, and now. 3.

I don't know how many actual followers you have, but it is from those people that the comments will come. The stats are that ony about 10% of followers comment.

One way to get more followers who comment is to become a follower who comments. :) Yeah, like with getting friends.

I know that takes time you may not have, but when people see comments on another blog, if the comment is interesting, they will often check that commenter out.

Please feel free to drop a comment on one of my posts anytime. I have several followers who say they like to write, if they see a comment you leave that gives them the idea that you write, they may stop over.

I have mentioned your site on my blog, if you want me to put something else on there, let me know what you want. You could even write something up and I could intro it and put it up on a post for you.

Another way to get more feedback on posts is to have somejhing in your post that can be commented on or discussed immediately. Some bloggers routinely add a question for discussion at the end of their post to get comments flowing.

Often your tips include assignments that take some time to complete, so people don't have a lot they can say immediately.

I'm sure none of this is new news to you; I'm just thinking out loud. It is true what they say, old social workers never retire, they just keep trying to solve problems long after people quit asking. I do want you to know, tho, that I'll help in any way I can.

Finally, don't think I'm annoyed if you don't hear from me for awhile. I have surgery coming up on Tuesday and I'll be in the hospital for a few days. So--take me up on my offers before Monday night or you'll have to wait awhile. I'll be out of commission after that.

I hope your house closing and move go well. It often takes much longer than they say.

Deb

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Retta said...

At first I was stumped, not understanding. But after reading the exchange here in comments, I think I can see better what you are saying, Welwyn.

To be honest, I'm still hoping more of the people that signed up for the project would feel like jumping in, and joining the "conversations." Maybe they didn't know that's just what one is supposed to do??! You are right... the joy of this kind of thing IS the give and take, not just the "take".

I write a blog on a totally different topic. There are 195 people who signed up to "follow". But only a very small handful actually participate by way of comments. I love that exchange, and have made quite a few friends. And I have come to learn that it is the norm to have lots of quiet readers, and a few that not only take away, but give back by commenting. We are all soooo busy, so I appreciate those few!

People who don't write a blog have no idea how much work it is. And when you are dealing with a physical challenge, like you are, that makes it even MORE of a challenge. I don't think people realize that the best way to show their appreciation is to join the conversation. They don't mean to be ungrateful... they just don't always know. I know before I started my blog, I didn't get it, either.

Sounds like this question from Atom has opened up a whole can of worms.. and that might be a GOOD thing. Because it will help clarify what you had in mind, and help us understand better and maybe others will feel encouraged to jump in, too.

Loretta

 
At 20 November, 2010 , Blogger Welwyn-on-books said...

Wow, Loretta, I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you wrote this. It's everything I wanted to say. I was just sitting here, trying to figure it all out, trying to make sense of why I'm feeling kind of at a loss, when Atom asked me what I was getting out of this blog. I have never written a bog before, and I didn't know what to expect. I'm going to post your comment in my answer to Atom, which I've decided to make now, and get all this negativism out of the way. Thanks, thanks, thanks, to all of the people who care.

 
At 21 November, 2010 , Blogger Unknown said...

I have to say I'm a little confused. I wasn't aware that the Minority Report posts were part of the project we signed up for. I wrote a long analysis for Jessica when she posted her work, and then I thought the project was on hold until you, Welwyn, got better. That makes me feel like I've epic failed. To be honest, I love Minority Report. 'Tis one of my favourite science fiction movies, but anything written by Philip K. Dick tends to be. Not to mention, I absolutely love analyzing popular culture, but couldn't find the time to devote to saying anything worthwhile.

I certainly do look at your blog daily, sometimes multiple times a day, but I must have missed that part about it being included in the workshop. I promise that once I wrap up this term and head home for xmas, I'll take the time to rewatch the movie and add to the discussion. Might I just say that Minority Report was the last movie Cruise did where he didn't seem ridiculous and crazy. *sigh*

And might I also just say that, while I'm no longer working toward being a writer (it was a childhood dream), I find these discussions fascinating because reading and analysis are my bread and butter. How writers do what they do is so, well, freakin' awesome, and I love just reading through the posts to see how everyone comes to understand their talents, their strengths and weaknesses, and their capacity to grow.

 
At 21 November, 2010 , Blogger Welwyn-on-books said...

Dear Deb, I am so mad at Blogger, this is the second time it's called your comment "Spam". If you use Blogger you'll know that you have to be on a certain page to discover that Hey, wow, there's a spam comment. And it never is. So, I'm sorry about this late response to your email. I do so hope you get it before you have your surgery. As you said the other day, God heals all the time, and so I hope you will be out of the woods and back online with your quick intelligence and kindness quickly.

Thanks for your suggestions. I'm a bit shy. It's hard for me to make friends online (and off). I don't know why, because I think I would be loyal and caring and not whiny and all those good things. That's the way I am in real life, anyway, to the friends I made through my daughter (parents, pre-school, you know what I mean). I've tried many different "big" online forums, but though I get "followers" on Twitter, and now I think I have about 18 friends on Goodreads, and if I could only just remember my password to Facebook I wouldn't have to start over so many times and tick people off, the only one of those three that crosses over to this blog is (I think) Jessica.

I do follow people and clubs and I do comment.

I haven't done as much with the people here because we talk here, and can talk about anything, like this. I have so little real active time in a day it's hard to do all the "shoulda's". :)

I think there is only so much one person can do. Now that I'm clear on my own motives, I'm going to concentrate on this blog. It will be OUR blog, not just mine.

Thank you very much for commenting and for making so many good suggestions.

 
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